There are people in life that are like Humpty Dumpty. He was sitting on the wall and he had a fall.

In life we all fall hoping that some how we can pick up the pieces and put us back together again.

I get those phone calls daily, I got one today. Hello Lori, I was on the wall Im falling, I fell, Im broken, Im shattered. My life is a mess, Splat, Splat, Splat.

And you see all the kings horses and all the kings men could not put Humpty together again. Either can I .

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Come again some other day!

STRANGE ENCOUNTER MAYBE!

Okay, I woke up today and I really was excited because it was dark and bleak outside. So I did all the work in the morning and decided before I went to pick up Corey from school I would mail a letter at the post office. So as I headed out, I realized my earpiece wasn't working so I'm on a phone at a light. It's pouring rain and real windy and all of sudden this old lady came knocking at my car window. And I ignored her and the light turned green and I went forward. And then 5 seconds later I ended my call. And I felt this prompting from the Holy Spirit that I needed to give her a ride. So I made a u-turn and went back to pick her up.

Now I know this is a dangerous thing but I did it anyway. Sized her up if I could take her out of commission if I had to. I do know some karate and self defense moves. And then I deemed it was meant to be.

So stopped the car and called to her do you need a ride. And she smiled and said, "Oh, Yes Please". I asked her where to and she said to the Post office. And I laughed inside myself cause that is exactly where I was going. I told her to get in and she proceeded to tell me that the bus took off and her umbrella blew away. She was soaked and I was very happy that I decided to help her.

After I dropped her off and mailed my letters, I went to get a hazelnut coffee and I was very proud of myself that I helped someone who needed it. I was convicted by the times that I didn't stop to pick someone up. That I didn't turn around. The bottom line is that I can no longer ignore those promptings.

I feel I listened to the calling and practiced a scripture that I read and heard a week ago. In Matthew 25:45, Jesus says, 'I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.'

"...Sing and make music in your heart

to the Lord, always giving thanks to God

the Father for everything in the name of

our Lord, Jesus Christ."

Ephesians 5:19-20

Some thoughts and ramblings, I don’t know when it happened. Perhaps I think it all began when I was an 8 grader singing folk songs during a Roman Catholic Mass. Perhaps it was when I was doing Choir under Steven or Leon, (prior worship leaders at HOPE) But I really can’t pinpoint when it all began but I do know that something began to change under the leadership, direction of the director now. The challenges that I faced and how my life has been transformed by worship. Essentially this is what I learned about worship from behind the Mic in our church and it has changed my life.

I am serious about my walk with the Lord and I feel that I am the most serious person behind the mic sometimes and have been known at times to cry during songs. The Holy Spirit really convicts me of so much during practices and on Sunday. Most of my life I have been a word person. So for me it is the words and the musical arrangements that do it for me. I totally get lost in the words and music that I often ask myself. Do I believe what I’m singing? Have I lived that out today? Is it really all about you Lord!

The most important thing I have learned about worship from behind the mic is…It’s not about me. Worship is about the Lord of all creation. It’s not about me or trying to draw attention to myself or how loud I can sing or how soft or if I smile enough or raise my hands enough, but how I can give more, how I can become less, and how I can let God become more. When I allow the Spirit to work through me, I use the gift He has given me to bring Him Glory. I can therefore take no credit for what He does through me. I become an instrument of His will. Paul did that and talked about it in Romans. He said he was a bondservant or slave of God. The servant, slave thing I just realized this past week. He gave everything to Jesus, even his will. Wow

This mind set and some of these thoughts have changed how I worship. I now want and seek a deeper more meaningful worship experience but mostly because I want an even deeper, intimate relationship with God. It starts by not so much seeking to be filled, but seeking His presence. One thing I try to do when I come to practice is leave any wants or worries, the stressful events of life at the door. And believe me I have had some trials and tests and disappointments over the years. Especially in 2007, and worship team and brotherhood and sisterhood of our team members got me through it. The fellowship was so deep and the support was so great. I made a conscience effort to walk into church with the single focused desire to please God with my Worship. I focus my thoughts on loving the Lord, singing or praising Him, to give God my full and undivided attention. I want to love Him more seek Him more, desire Him more. 2007 some verses that were so prevalent to me was Habakkuk 3:16-20ish. I am so blessed by this.

Other times, there are times when I worship and I don’t “feel” it. But this feeling thing sometimes I struggle with because I’m expecting something all the time. I don’t want to expect I just want to praise Him and have no expectations. I am so overwhelmed on How “Great is Lord” during our time of worship. When I go in with no expectations it seems like I experience God BETTER.

There is so much else I could say but I know for myself that when I turn my attention to Him and seek His face, and worship and love him, my experience with God is much deeper. I believe that I should look to my relationship with God to fill me, not just in church outside of the church with regards to worship experience. When I rely on the worship team to fill me, or the message to move me, or singing a song or whatever, I can pretty much guess that eventually disappointments will come. How about this, maybe too many of these echoes in our lives as worship team members. . I just know when focus on seeking God’s face, his presence only, there is no expectation.

One other thought is that my experience at church with my fellow believers in Worship team with your encouragement has allowed me to take my Christianity further in my life. Everything I do becomes worship, how I work, how I walk, how I breathe….if I am focused on pleasing God, it all becomes worship. Still working on that though, I get easily distracted…but again, God’s not through with me yet.

So recently, this summer I have fond memories of my contemplating the whole issue of church and worship and I why I go to church and why I worship God. And I discovered that my True worship is not confined to singing in church or open praise (although these things are both good and we are told to do them in the Bible), but it is the heartfelt acknowledgment of God and all His power and glory in everything I do. To truly worship God, we must know Him and not be ignorant of His good and glorious nature (Acts 17:23). In a nutshell, I have discovered that worship is to glorify and exalt God; to show our loyalty and admiration to our Heavenly Father! And Loyalty and admiration to God is really what it’s all about. This week I discovered also the more I anticipate Him that God anticipates me anticipating Him. More than anything we can ever imagine. He is so faithful and active in my life. I once had the opportunity of teaching a Womens Sunday School Class at Hope and one time I did a study with the women on Worship. And I used a book by Dr. David Jeremiah. And he defined worship of giving Worth back to God. In my worship I want to give Him worth back to God.

I’m not sure why I am rambling on about all this but I am sure about one thing, I am very passionate and sincere about worshiping God.

I wanted to start 2010 off with this Blessing for year for both my readers and myself. This is not my creative Idea, 3 of my friends over the past years have posted this in their blogs. May you be blessed by these words.


A Four-Fold Franciscan Blessing

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God, the Supreme Majesty and our Creator, Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Savior, and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.