From Durham North Carolina

So this is my last blog entry of 2009, writing it from the Hilton in Durham. We arrived I don't even know because I am in the midst of the stomach bug. Spent the whole day in (no need to describe it) But here are some thoughts as I close this year.
1. I made the world a better place by participating in acts of kindness.
2. I loved and served God with all my heart and soul and mind when I was in focus with the least distractions. Was I perfect, heck no, but my heart was there.
3. I influenced others for the positive.
4. Spoke less,Listened more
5. Blogged more than ever this year, journaled less.
6. Had major quality time with my family and good friends. Love them all.
7. Mended any fences that I needed to and still have a few more.
8. Gave my Husband 100% and my Husband gave me 100%
9. Read some crazy, some good, and some thought provoking books.
10 And my favorite and only dog Cooper was loyal to me. He loves me unconditionally. At least I think.
11. I went into Christmas 2009 with great expectations of something magical happening and guess what, nothing magical happened. But what did happen was the realization for me of God's power in sending Christ to live among us. Yes I know the story, backwards, frontwards and sideways. But I never meditated and realized the power. Totally Awesome.

12 The End
Not really, God has been tugging away at my heart, changing me. I think differently now. I can't imagine doing life any other way even sitting here being sick now, without God. I can't get by one single minute, second without HIM.
As I rode up in the elevator earlier today, to rush to my room to get this bug out of system. I tearfully wept to my husband, "It's going to be a Charlie Brown New Year" And then we looked each other and laughed. And then Bill said, It's going to be alright. And I'm sure it will be. Blessings to all who read this and a very Happy New Year but hopefully you make 2010 about your relationship with God.

Caroling

My favorite time of the Christmas season is being able to sing the familiar Christmas songs that we hear imediately after Thanksgiving. So a bunch of us went around my neighborhood and sang those songs tonight.

So we went to about 10 houses on very cold night and we sang. We made merry. We even put smiles on the neighbors. Oh and my little ones Robert and Corey came and it was such a family thing to do and it put me in the Christmas Spirit.

This night brought me back to when I was in my teens going caroling with my friends. We went to so many homes and sang melodies and harmonies and laughed and had so much joy. One time we went on a back of truck and we were singing.

So if nothing else happens this Christmas Season at least I went caroling. And least I did something for mankind. Oh Come Let Us Adore HIM!!!!!

This is my favorite Lifehouse songs, it is on my blogpage in my video bar. Its the 1st one. But just this month some lines have become very real to me. I hope they spur you on if your reading this. One thing I want a point out, this is so me with my God right now. Oh He walks me through stuff. So here is some lines that have lingered on in my life and echo loudly now.

One line "Im desperate for changing
starving for the truth." Oh Lord
I am so surrendering to the changes you
want in me.
I am "Starving for truth" I seek you everyday for truth and
you always give just enough I can handle. Thank you for that. Another line I love is "I'm closer to the where I started" In this fantastic healing journey that I have taken on I am closer to the truth. But in this journey, "I'm chasing after you", and "I am falling even more in love with you" Thank you. Again along with truth, you put your arms around me and help me embrace it thank you. Another line is
"Completely Incomplete" Oh how true that is, complete me Lord even more than I am now. Cause sometimes I feel Incomplete. Like there is a piece of me hanging on so I can't see what you want me to.
And one line that I am completely doing and continuing to do is
"Letting go of all I hung onto" Everyday I'm letting go realizing that it doesn't help to hold on to things. And for whatever reasons that I have held on to things let go has been so Freeing and so Exhilerating. And I am hanging on this Moment. Thank you Lord. And so my questions is
What are you hanging on to?
And Lori, what am I still hanging on to?
And listen to the Song and the lyrics and what needs changing?

Hanging By A Moment lyrics

I'm desperate for changing

Starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started

I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

You take all of me now

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose

There's nothing else to find

There's nothing in the world

That can change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

I'm desperate for changing

I'm starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started

Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

Thankful on Thanksgiving

PSALM 134

1 Behold, bless the LORD, all (servants of the LORD,

Who serve by night in the house of the LORD!

2 Lift up your hands to the sanctuary And bless the LORD.

3May the LORD bless you from Zion,

He who made heaven and earth.

All I can say as this day has approached I have been blessed. Blessed in so many ways.

Blessed with family and friends. Blessed with a wonderful pastor and his wife and blessed with a wonderful church. Totally awesome.

I have so many other things to be thankful for. I was thankful that I started out my day singing praises to God. I am thankful that I can sing. I am thankful that my family entertains me with there lovely melodies. I am thankful that we can use music to praise and worship God.

Mostly I'm thankful that I started my day off in the Sanctury praising Him. Oh Lord I blessed you today and you have blessed me today. I get that.

In this Psalm we are called to bless the Lord. And we cannot help but bless Him because He is worthy of our praise. With all He had done for us but mostly for His Grace and Mercy and most importantly His Unfailing Love. Lord I so wanted to bless you today with all my being. I think I did by honoring you this morning. I love you so.

And you continue to bless me in my life and in my spiritual life. Not that the two are separated but contained in one life.

I am most thankful for speaking so clearly to me in this season of life when I need to hear you more.

My question is What are you Thankful for ? REALLY?

I AM WORTH MUCH MORE

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? Matt. 6:26

I don't know, I've been learning alot about myself lately.

These are my bird friends I met down in Florida. Now before you cast me off as some lunitic who befriends birds on vacation. Just hear me out. This was taken at Universal Studio's. I found it to be strange that as I got closer they didn't fly away. They were pecking away at the morsels of droppings on the ground. Wow, what a concept. I thought. It was like this place was a banquet and not even the big, bad human can chase them away.

But as I look back on this picture as I seem to be looking back on a lot of things lately. I marvel on how much God takes care of these birds. And then I marveled on how much God has taken care of me and has had his hand on past, present and will continue to have His hand on my life into the future.

I am worth so much more than these little birdies. He so loves me! I believe that. I do. But sometimes I get disappointed. And sometimes I feel like He is disapointed in me. But he still loves me.

What I was thinking lately about is the deep trauma's of these birds in their birdie life. I don't know where they came from but who knows, maybe they had a brother or sister or two and as they were flying to this random destination maybe one flew into a window. Or maybe another bird ate the birdies siblings up. Maybe they were nesting somewhere and mom and dad birdie fell out. Maybe they lost there little baby birdies or maybe they are not connected at all. Maybe they are bad birdies. Maybe they really aren't birds at all and I'm just hallucinating. No matter how you look at these two birds they have a story to tell. They have memories. They have had close encounters with death and with trauma. The have encountered hurt in their birdie life. And God cares for them!

My point is we all do. I'm learning about my life, eager to find out why I do the things I do! Why I fly like the birds to some random destinations in my thoughts and in real life. Sometime I am reliving the hurts of my past. Wishing that I can have some of those moments back. Wishing I could have made different choices. Wishing I really knew who I was and getting over where I came from. And looking forward to discovering it. Maybe, Maybe it will be on day on a random day when my life and the birdies life will intersect again. And it probably won't even be the same Birdies. But it will be the same me secretly hoping it will be the real me! Back again and vibrant, embracing life the way it should be embraced.

November 22,2009

Today was Corey debut in the Norwalk
Youth Symphony in the Prelude Orchestra!
Just Amazing. I am so proud of him. He
dressed all up. He was so cute. Then we
had and amazing Pasta dinner cooked by
Chef Bill. Thank you Lord, for an amazing
day.

Do I dare!
I dare ask!
Serious questions!
Of the past!
Why!
Disappointed sometimes with the ONE I Trust!
Why!

Not really sure Why is what I want to know!
But maybe just how come?
Or where were you?

I want to know why
Bad things do happen?
But somewhere in time
It does and it comes with
No answers
No explanations


On the other hand
Please do tell me
Why all the sickness
And why the hurt
Why all the pain!

Finding Duncan!!!!!

In the midst of celebration in the friendship circle

for the last time this year, finding

Duncan was easy. Ah you say this is no brainer just find the line of Alto Saxes. Easier said than done. But this time I had no probem. I found him can you.

Finding Duncan, was my passion all band season. Weaving in out of lines and up and down hash marks and stepping over the 50 yard line Finding Duncan brought joy! Ah, there he is I would say to myself. Just amazing. I was one of those proud parents in the Green wave.

Finding Duncan in the Norwalk High Marching Band show became not only my passion but my hobby for the last 4 months. It was easy when he was not in uniform. But put on the Norwalk High green and he looked like every other marching band member.

Finding Duncan in the midst of the Pride INTENsified. Just Amazing. But there is nothing like Finding Duncan in the famed Celebratory Circle, aka Friendship Circle. And yes for the last time this year I was proud to find you. Winners of the Mac Championship, the best in the Tri-State. Congrats Robert, I found you! Finding Duncan, Yes a WINNER!!!!!!!

Just Yesterday!
(Oh it seems so far away)

Just yesterday the weather was so beautiful and I so enjoyed it.
Just yesterday it was a typical New England Beach day. Just yesterday I was walking on the beach with the water glimmering in the sunshine.

Just yesterday I was pondering the the way things should always be. Just yesterday the things were the way they should be. Just yesterday I was everything I could be, and everything I wanted to be. Just yesterday I facedown with my thoughts of a creator and maker.

Just yesterday, oh it's so far away. Just yesterday, oh how I wish I could have it back.

Pink Sky

There is something amazing about a sky that is highlighted and pigmented in pink and in purples. Somewhere in this fall sky is a beautiful painting. And I think I have found it. God's Masterpiece!

Does not get much better than this. Thank you, Lord!

Amazing Man!

Happy Birthday to the most amazing man. He is awesome! Now I'm not talking about the little guy in gray Tyler, but I'm talking about that big muscular, hot Italian in whom I love so much. And the cool thing he is getting closer to 50 befor me. Every night I get this very great sounding cello concert in my home. What else could I possibly ask for. Bill thanks for being an inspiration to me! I love you!

DRAWING THE LINE

Today I can't help but wonder about how many times lines are drawn, how much we live by them. The above picture is from a Marching Band Field Show where the drum major is guiding the band beat. But the band member is not only supposed to be in the beat but they are supposed to be near or on certain lines, imagined or unimagined on the field. Below is my son at one of his starting points.

So where is this all leading. It's leading to lines I've drawn in life, lines because of hurts, disappointment, and unanswered prayer. Lines that I've drawn out of protection, withdrawel and silence. Lines I no longer want to cross because of the disapointment hurt and sorrow. And in all this somewhere is a God in whom scripture says has unfailing love and compassion.

Have I ever drawn a line with God? Have you? You can go here Lord, but don't cross the line? I can't let you cross this line Lord because before you allowed this to happen so I don't want to allow you into this space again because I'm disappointed.

In this bible study Sacred Echoes I'm doing Margaret Feinberg talks about how she hears God quietly saying "Bring them to Me" and "You are not Alone". And as I studied this portion I have some lines I've drawn. And in the past I realized that when I drew them I became isolated and silent. But He has always drawn me in. I learned that in the tough times, when things don't go well and it seems like God isn't there or uninvolved to tell it to Him. He may not answer the way you like and you know what, it may even get worse forever but He wants us to talk about it with Him. Why because it takes the focus off me. And I know that when I draw those uncrossable lines that It always becomes about me.

Today I have erased some those lines I have discovered. In a very personal matter in my life, and to be honest with out going into sharing any details because He's not finished yet. Well yesterday, by accident I read in one of my writings a prayer that I prayed years ago that God really didn't answer. So I stopped praying that prayer to Him. I sat yesterday on the floor weeping and crying and talking to God about it, I erased that line. And He also said it to me very loudly,

"BRING THEM TO ME"

Well last night the Marching Bears did awesome. Robert has worked so hard for this and they won. They did so good. And I was so proud of my 15 year old freshman at Norwalk High. The field show sounded so good. Every one in it did so good. I am just plain old proud. Thank you God for the gift of Music in our Family!

The day after is always sweet. But stay tuned for next week!!!!!! Yea Robert! Our whole family loves you!

On August 2nd, 2009, My daughter Kristine turned 21. I really can believe how fast she has grown up into a beautiful young lady. This is the 21st cake. It also means I have hosted 21 parties. 21 years of motherhood. 21 years of success and failure. It really doesn't get any better.

21 years of laughter. 21 years of me saying No and Yes. Somehow that never ends. It's still No and Yes sometimes.

21 years of saying "Go ask your Dad". 21 years of her coming back and saying Dad says to ask you. OH well somethings never change.

Somethings never change. Kristine thank you for being part of my life. And I am so thankful for the light and happiness you bring into the room. And your middle name being joy you have brought much joy to my heart. Can't wait to see whatthe next 21 years will bring!

A NAIL IN MY TIRE!

Okay Its crazy week at the Duncan home. And why? Well each year one, some or all of us go to Belize. This year it's Bill, he goes to Belize and leaves this poor helpless girl alone to fend for herself in this brutal world. Yes brutal. So to kick off his departure as I'm leaving church on Sunday, my friend Jill tells me there is a a nail in my tire. Now I'm thankful that she noticed it. But Nails in Tires I say are a mans job. And my man is not home. Oh what is a poor women in distress supposed to do. Ah have no fear, super Ray lives down the street. So today, Monday, I call Ray to bring it down. He owns a tire shop. And he had to repair the tire. I am so thankful that my tire did not end up flat unexpectedly. That could have been a disaster. Super Ray told me it would not have made it through the day. And I was traveling long distance to a picnic tonight to see some old friends. That would have been disasterous.

So this got me to thinking that life is like a tire and sometimes we get a nails in it. Sometimes the nails can be sustained over a period of time. Sometimes the nails puncture us so badly that we need repair. Sometimes the nails come without warning. But regardless of the nail we continue to travel and move. And somehow we always end up somewhere.

I can't help to think that this nail is a sign from God. Saying Okay Lori you are going to be okay this week. And that this is only the beginning. You have had many nails and more are coming but I'm transforming you into someone who can handle the nails with me pulling them out and repairing them. Again Lori, I want you to know I am always with you.

Today was stressful, always is when I'm taking care of the kids, the home and the business, and the nails in my tire. But I'm okay because God is watching over me!

July Band Practice

I never really write alot about my Kids. But I'm real proud of the them all of them. This is my son Robert who is 14. He is so talented. One of his many talents is he can play Saxophone. I love listening to him play and love watching him perform.

This is a picture of him starting in the Marching Band. I love it. He like is the coolest. He has 4 Mondays this Month and then it is off to Deerfoot. This is a christian camp he will be going to for 2 weeks. Robert if you every read this you are the best.

A WEEK AT THE

HARD ROCK HOTEL!

It was a much needed vacation with my husband and two youngest. Robert and Corey. Our first vacation with out the two oldest with definately a different twist. The one thing I appreciate about our younger boys is they don't need much. They don't even need to be entertained they just entertain themselves. (Meaning they don't bug us to eat, drink or souveneers.)

I was amazed to see all the people who were booked in this rather high priced hotel. I was amazed to see that we could actually afford it. But I guess the shock was the guilt I felt with the money we were spending when (Okay I will say it,)there are poor starving kids in Africa. The truth is I'm not really shocked as I would like to because it was fun and I wouldn't of traded it in for nothing. And there will always be starving people and I can't help everyone!

The last few years we have not taken a vacation at all. Business was slow this year and it was the perfect time. I learned more about my two boys on the trip than I ever did. We enjoyed each other, annoyed each other and even laughed at each other. How cool is that.

Now back to this Hard Rock Cafe thing. Okay I had to laugh, people were spending so much on there accounts. The draw was poolside service. It really should be poolside drain your bank accounts. I have always been one for moderation and considering we are in tough times, I continued my bent for moderation. Yes in moderation we order by the pool but not everyday and every minute. I was surprized to see that most kids had their own accounts. Okay that was nice for them. But my kid's did not. Especially not when Coke was 5 bucks by the poolside. Hey but I did get water with a lemon for free delivered, now that was cool. Everything by the way was extra. Needless to say, I didn't need anything extra. I guess the best thing about staying there is we were right in Universal Studios. So we got unlimited passes to Universal and Unlimited passes to Island of Adventures. Also because we stayed at Hard Rock we went right to the front of the line. Can I tell you how cool that was. People were waiting in lines in the hot sun for over an hour. And we went on ride after ride with not a wait at all. And that is what made staying at the Hard Rock cool.

Now we did go to Disney for a day. And went on everything that we could of. And we did fast pass a couple of rides and that was real fun. But we did have to wait in a few lines. But that was okay too.

We did some great dinners, saw some great shows and really had a great time. And I didn't spend a whole lot of money. And we even made money while we were away. The cool thing about the hard rock was it was like a museum of famous Musicians and there instruments or there outfits. Very cool to see. Okay, the point is I would definately stay there again, but just for a weekend so we can get the passages to the parks and zip through to the front of the line and then go to a cheaper hotel. LOL And by the way for all you MIB fans in the Men in Black car at Universal or Islands with my 2 boys and husband, I shot the most monsters or whatever you call them. Ahh beaten by a girl again!

If I had to live my life over again I would............!

.......not do anything differently.

Well maybe I would tweak it a little bit. Erma Bomback once wrote an article of all the things she would do differently or in actuality what she would do. I thought about that. And I was reminded of this article because of a seminar I attended in May of 2007. I was reminded that I really do like my life and I wouldn't really make any radical change to my life. So here is what I did come up with.

I would not do anything diffently because I already reflect more. And I take the time to do it. I don't let things like my life pass with out giving it attention. I like examining and seeing what I can improve on. I like to let God flow into my heart and be the basic everything in my life. I like pondering on all the good things that God has done and what he will continue to do in my life. This way when the bad happens or circumstances happen, I have a foundation of a God who loves me so much. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things." Think ON THESE THINGS. I have spent half of this year acknowledging the the things that are true about God and what He has done in my life. One thing I have learned is that I can't be strong in the Lord if I am always beating up on myself. God is amazingly the biggest factor in my life that I need to meditate and reflect more on.

Erma states she would take more risks, maybe clean less and use the fine china more. As far as taking risks, well I have taken some good and not so good risks. But one of the biggest risk is believing in God. Am I some weirdo that really believes in Loving God up in the Big Sky. Yeh I am. I will believe it again and again and again. His fingerprints are all over me.

Stepping out on faith and going on Missions Trips out of my control and comfort zones are risks, but good ones. Life changing ones. The ones when you come back and see what you have seen, you never forget. The ones that have caused me to live differently. That is risk.

Okay maybe I have taken some bad risks. Such as jumping off a cliff. What was I thinking? Well at least if I goofed and didn't land right, I would be in heaven with God. But Im sure that was not part of the plan. And by the way it really did hurt when I landed in the water tilted on my side a bit. It felt like a 2 by 4 hitting me real hard. Yikes.

Maybe the other risk that was kind of bad was scuba diving in St. Croix 1 day in a half before flying home. There was a fine line if that was safe to that so close to flying. But the real kicker was the waiver I signed that they would not be responsible if I get the bends and die, or if I get attacked by a shark. etc.

By far though for me have been those risks that I have taken for God. I would do it again in a heart beat. And really keeping a clean house and using the fine china are really insignificant when it comes to the fullness of life that I have in God.

Tony Compolo said that He would do more things that would live on after he is dead. Now that is legacy. That is destiny. I would love to have a legacy, things and relationships that live on after I die. In someways I get to see that now. I have been apart of a mission in Belize now for over 7 years and now I get to see the fruit of that. God is amazing and has done wonderful things. Such as in a place called the burial grounds in Belize City there is a school that kids get to go to that would have never ever went to school. I got to have a hand in getting that school up and running. Now thats what is important, making a difference in peoples lives. That is legacy. The other thing that always makes me excited is when through one of the Bible Studys I teach that some had made a better relationship with the Lord or a life transforming changes bringing them closer to the Lord. That is exciting.

Somewhere in scripture it states we are called to do good, because of our faith we are called to do good works, not to gain us salvation but out of our love for the Lord. That is what I will continue to do through the Lord. Will I do anything different? No Way!

Retrospect Revisited!!!!!

A review, survey, or contemplation of things in the past! That is the definition in noun form. Every once in awhile I revisit the past. Sometimes it's good, sometimes its bad. Sometimes it's something that I really want to write about, sometimes my pen has not even begun to or I wouldn't even dare. Sometimes I wish I could forget about it. So here I am being introspective about Retrospect. Here is my one time blog exposure to something of the past that should probably not be even remembered, or maybe even in these archives. Here goes:

The summer of 2007 should be titled "Upheaval at Best". Or maybe "August Uproot". So let's take August 2007 for instance. Life was going somewhat tra la la,la la and then UPHEAVAL. Many of my friends go through these upheavals, but at the time mine seemed like the worst. The thing is, I really don't have to go into details but just to honestly say my life changed completely in August of 2007. And I began slowly to unravel and fall apart. So Lori, give me some details. NOT, no details, ya just have to know it was painful and gut wrenching hard. Somewhere at the end of the year, I knew I had to choose to focus on God or wallow in self pity. Have you ever been in the dungeon of self-pity? How about it the prison of "WHY ME"? How about "Where are you LORD"?

How about "OH, Say it isn't true"? Or how about, "Not my daughter Or Not my Son"? Or how about, "I just can't do this anymore"? Or how about "I just want to go and crawl under a rock and hide for ever"?

Well anyway I'm being retrospective today and it's nice to be out of 2007. So what are somethings I did learn.

#1. God really is in Control

#2. I really am not in Control

#3. I am broken once again, and God has made me beautiful

#4. I can't fix things

#5 God does hold on, step in, intervene in HIS timing.

#6 And I love God more than anything else in my life.

#7 Things may not be a 100% perfect in my eyes but in God's timing and agenda He has a plan and I must wait

#8 Humpty Dumpty couldn't be put back together again, but the Lord has transformed me into something new again and again.

So I do know that our Lord is faithful. I am living proof of that. His promises always come true and He will get us through the UPHEAVALS in our life.

Across the corner from South Derbingny in

New Orleans

Okay, It's been four days and now I'm home from Nawlins. But it has left a mark on my life. I can't get certain conversations out of my head.

One was my conversation with a man named Keith, pictured above and you guessed it, I am having a conversation with him on the porch posted in the picture above. In fact, I think most of my conversations were with people sitting on porches.

So here I am at the end of the day sitting with Keith, and he was telling me about the house that we were gutting. He told me that he attended a wake for his grandmother in the house. It was kind of a weird way to start a conversation, but I found myself beginning to ask him questions. Like how old was he when that happened. Then amazingly it began, I asked him the question, I've been asking everyone I bumped into. Were you here during the huricane? Were you scared? What now, since then.

For Keith it has been a long struggle trying to deal with the train wreck on his life, but he told me about being in his house during the huricane and the roof and house shaking so badly that he didn't know if he would see the next day. I don't think I have ever been that scared. He told me for the last couple of years it's been about rebuilding and living. But I can only imagine what it would be like to be in his predicament.

By the end of the conversation we exchanged names, I gave him a water and went to hop in my car and go across the causeway with a bunch of Teens. Once again slightly taken back from the pain that Huricane Katrina caused. Not numb at all but incredibly feeling everything he said to me and remembering.

It's late Thursday night in New Orleans, and it's warmer outside than it is at noon on a sunny Connecticut spring day. I, Corinne Hirotsu, am really enjoying this weather, along with my new rolled-up-t-shirt-sleeve tan. Today we did some demolition, put up some drywall, and worked a block party; however, the most significant work I did today included playing with a little African American boy named Paul.

All week, I have been hearing various leaders say things like "It's not about the work, it's about the people," and I have even been telling myself the same thing. But I didn't really know how true this statement was until today. I spent half of the work day (about three hours-ish) with Paul and a few others, playing in the lot across the street, and the other half shoveling insulation and carrying drywall. While spending the first half of the day playing with Paul, I felt guilty about not doing any physical labor, and asked if I should help upstairs in the apartments we were in the process of demolishing. Contrary to my expectations, Mr. Maudsley told me that it wasn't necessary, and that in playing with Paul, I was doing even more important work than any manual labor I could otherwise be doing. I realized that I could use the time with Paul to show him God's love, and further understand his family's current situation. Afterwards, I felt so content and accomplished, and I felt like I had really given him a good idea of what God's love is.

After lunch, I decided to do some heavy lifting upstairs. After over two and a half hours of my work goggles fogging up and large pieces of drywall crashing down on my head, (*ahem* Chip Larsen,) I was sweaty and exhausted, but I felt nowhere near as accomplished as I did after I spent that time with Paul.

In short, today I learned from experience that the most fulfilling work comes not from exerting yourself, but from touching people's lives. I know that we will always remember Paul's abundant joy and happiness, and I pray that he will lead a full life, taking every one of his steps with God by his side.

Hello and greetings from Nawlins! This is Kori Dean speaking, in case you couldn't tell by the picture, and I'm here to tell you how our trip is going so far. Today was another day of hard work at the site, though it was obvious that we worked more dilligently. Not to mention the fact that we seemed to become experts at demolishing houses overnight. I mean Vicky and I took down a celing in the time span of half and hour. Talk about impressive. I'd also like to say that the block party was a huge success. We all took the time to reach out to the people of New Orleans and hear their stories. I was very proud of everyone and the courage they showed. It was, all around, a really great day.

A few of us experienced something that I would like to share with you all. While Eddie, Vicky, Max, Chip, Chris, and myself (forgive me if I forgot someone) were at Rally's for lunch, waiting for our food, we began talking to this man. He didn't seem to have a very fortunate life. He had an injured leg and was forced to travel around on some sort of automatic wheelchair (for lack of a better term...it's midnight here, cut me some slack). Max then brought up the topic of the hurricane and he told us his story. He had escaped the storm before he could experience the worst of it, but he left his mother, sister, and cousin behind. They were all killed during Katrina.

But here this man was, smiling, completely content. He didn't even ask us for anything. He told us Jesus was all he needed. He then promised us he would be at the block party and rolled away.

This had a huge impact on me, and I'm sure it had a great impact on the others who were there with me. The fact that someone can be so happy after so much sadness is truly an act of God. I truly hope to see more of this before I leave the city. But that's all I have for now. I got to turn the computer over to Corinne. Night!

Today we pranked the California kids. Last night we went to Wal-Mart and bought rubber animals and zip ties, and after they left this morning we put the animals in their sleeping bags and ziptied their shoes and luggage together. They thought it was hilarious, and everyone got a good laugh out of it.

When we got to the work site we did demolition again, on an identical unit from yesterday. We had a better idea of what we were doing, and it seemed a lot easier than yesterday’s work. Yesterday Mr. Maudsley and I must have spent three hours taking down three ceiling fans. Today it only took fifteen or twenty minutes, which was a blessing as we were able to get a lot of other things done. We almost completely gutted the house, and will be able to start putting up fresh drywall by the end of the week. We got back to the church and had a nice dinner, before having a joint worship service with the other group. A lot of people shared their stories about how God has been working through their groups this week and it was very powerful. All in all, it was a great day and hopefully we will have another successful day tomorrow.
BY CHIP LARSEN

In the last few days God has changed the lives of many through hard work and new relationships.

Two big life changing events happened today.

The first of these events was beginning to occur before lunch. My upper back was hurting and I prayed that we would go to lunch and that in that time my back could heal. The lifting of sheetrock in small pieces was awkward and somewhat heavy, and after lunch, when I went to lift the sheetrock my back had a hint of pain, remembering that God has said ask and you will receive I asked for my back to stop hurting, and within the next load there was no pain.

Another of the many small life changing events that have happened recently was that I have been allowed to "lead" the night time devo. I have planned to expand on the NLT translation of Proverbs 17:5. The meaning of this verse is to show people that making fun of people is a sin.

It has been so amazing to do the work in houses that normally very skilled people do. The opportunity to help others is in abundance, and I have enjoyed the "prayer walks" where we talk to the people who we meet. This missions trip is truly amazing.
- Stephen Jarrett

This week has been so much fun so far! Certain places in the city look a lot different than they did two years ago. My favorite thing to do during my first trip to New Orleans was to listen to the stories of the people who survived Katrina. We got to hear one of those stories yesterday and I wanted to share it with all of you. We met this guy called Dingo . (Wearing red in the picture above) He works with the youth in a section of the city as a part of Castle Rock church's ministry to the people of New Orleans. Dingo became a Christian because he was influenced by the other Christians that he played basketball with at Castle Rock. He was seventeen when the storm hit the city. As usual when hurricanes hit this area, he and his family bunkered down in their house, lit candles, and told stories of years past. he was in high school at the time and after the initial storm hit he went back to school. He heard out on the streets that the levy had broken. Being seventeen years old, he didn't really understand the implications of this. He went home and told his mom what he had heard. Dingo's mom said that they needed to go to his aunt's house a couple blocks away. Dingo told us that the water didn't break the levy dramatically like you see on tv and in movies all the time. He said that only pieces of the levy broke and that the water rose very gradually. His mom got drunk at her sister's during that time and told him that she wanted to go home. He walked her home through water that was five feet high at the time. He couldn't stay there with her and he couldn't get her to leave the house so he and his aunt and sister went to the Superdome. He described some of the conditions of that to us but if I go into that now this will end up being too long. They then were shipped off to Texas where they expected to be housed in an apartment or something. Instead they were put into conditions even worse and more cramped than the Superdome was. Fortunately, they had enough money with them that they were able to stay in a hotel until they could get out of the state. To make things short (sorry!) all three of them returned home and he was reunited with his mom. He was not able to graduate from high school due to circumstances that I can't go into now. However, he applied to a Bible college in California and was able to go because his pastor, because of God's help, found the money for him to go.
There is a lot more to Dingo's story so I will try to get someone else to write about it at some point. We all really appreciate all of your support and prayers and are looking forward to coming home and sharing our abundance of stories of this trip with you. Thanks!!
- Erin Porter

Picture this: It's a rainy day in your hometown. You've got nothing going on, but since it's raining, you can't go outside. All of a sudden you hear large wind gusts, unexpected cries for help, and water flooding the streets. You think to your self, what is going on? Am I going to survive? This was the case for the people of New Orleans on that tragic day in 2005, it was called Hurricane Katrina. I have realized taking that this is my second year on this trip that there is something that the people of New Orleans have that many people lack. That is friendliness and the ability to stay strong. God has showed me throughout this week that even though Hurricane Katrina brought terrible roads ahead for many, these people never complain. I tend to complain if I don't get the TV clicker at 7:30 for my show. These people lost their belongings, pets, family members, and almost everything they have, and they stay strong and only focus on the future. God purposely planned Hurricane Katrina, he sent those whirling winds down on this city for a reason, to unite the world and bring peace to the nations. I am very thankful I have been given the opportunity to serve God and others this week in New Orleans.

----Max Maudsley

As Max said these people went through terror and hardship a few years ago. The hurricane which hit them still has left their beautiful city of New Orleans in critical condition. Even thow their city isnt as nice as other cities and the people themselves arent doing as well as before, they stay happy. With the power of the lord these people are able to put the bad behind and keep going forward. It is truelly great to walk down a sidewalk and be able to say high to someone or have a conversation with someone without being ignored. Today Max and I had a great time pretty much knocking the walls off of the inside of a ladies house. We got messy and dirty but it was by far one of the coolest experiences ever. After all of the work we did, we were able to come back to the church and hang with the California kids. There is a group of 80 from California here and only 20 of us but they arent to bad to us. We bonded with them and even beat them in a frisby game. Every day so far makes you wanna just fast forward to the next day because it is so great. This trip isnt just about the fun though it also has been changing me to be a better Christian. I am very blessed to be here and it is very obvious the people of New Orleans are happy to have us here too. It is a blessing from God that I am here and I know it was not a mistake that God put me here to serve Him.

----Eduardo White

Hey, from Molly Fox and Jessica Petty! April 14th, 2009...what a day. There was much work to be done as we approached the work cite. Little did we know, our lives were about to be drastically changed. When we first got there we met Dingo. He shared a very emotional testimony about his experiences and trials because of the outcome of Katrina. He also let us know how these hardships led him to lean and depend on God as his savior. Everyone was listening intently and our hearts longed to please God through our day of demolition. However fun demolition sounds, it is so hard. Dripping with sweat, we were able to gut more than half of an apartment. Laughing and joking, we made sure the job was done pleasurably. What many people don't know is, not all the fun occurs at the work cite. Today, we had intense soccer and frisbee games, Hope against the other church from California. It was a real icebreaker and gave us all time to bond and have a good time, after an exhausting day. Quite possibly the most moving part of the day was tonight at devos. It was as if God had intervened and brought us into great discussion and testimony. The worship was led by Paul Karus and the message by Kayla Maudsley. Both were quite moving and gave us a further appreciation for eachother and the amazing oppertunity to come to New Orleans and grow in our faith. Tears were shed and hearts were changed today and we got to know eachother through God's grace in ways none of us could have ever imagined. Though weve done alot already, it's only the second day and we have much more to accomplish. We are so excited to see what comes our way! GOD BLESS!!

Hello from New Orleans!! Kayla Maudsley speaking :)
Today was our first day of work, and I couldn't believe how quickly 6 AM came. Surprisingly, I was so excited to start working that I jumped out of bed cheerfully and excitedly (my parents would never believe it). After breakfast and devotions, we were all ready to start working by around 8. Our first job was actually in the church we are staying at - unloading cases of candy, shampoo, and bottles of juice and placing them in their proper places in the church.
Okay, skip ahead about an hour and a half and our group has already crossed the 24-mile causeway bridge and driven into the central city. Our next task was at the "Alamo", which is basically a building without walls, where the EFCA keeps some of their tools. The next two hours were filled with lots of lifting and moving items, such as large peices of wood, wires, tables, and other various items. Even though i was whipped with a piece of wire, scratched by splinters from wood, tearing from dirt blown into my eyes, and bruised unknowingly, I had an amazing time working. I love the way serving brings inexpressible and glorious joy. After our job at the Alamo winded down, a few of us decided to take a prayer-walk and meet some new people. We mostly talked with children. Two kids we met were named Heaven and Jamal, who are cousins. We all had a fun time pushing them around in a shopping cart form Wal-mart, passing a ball, and giving new hairstyles to each other. Jamal was very quiet, and he told us he was held back a year in school because he moved a lot. Although we didnt ask him why specifically he moved, we could assume it might have had something to do with Katrina. Heaven and Jamal showed me that you dont need an xbox, a tv, an ipod, or a cell phone to have a good time. They relied on each other to entertain themselves, and they had a fun time on their own. Another woman we talked to later on couldn't keep from thanking us, she spotted us walking down the street and yelled 'thank you' to us, and kept encouraging us in our work. Now everyone is telling me to go to bed, so hopefully you got a good depiction of what a small portion of my day looked like! Thanks for all your prayers! I can feel them all the time :)

Hello there to those reading this and greeting from Nawlins! My name is Roberto Sancho and this is my first time at New Orleans. Right now its Monday night and we just had a fun packed day. We woke up at 6 like the usual day and we had our breakfast and morning devos and set for our work. Our first job was on the Trinity Church grounds which was taking bottles and boxed toiletries to a different vacation and after that we set for our job at the Alamo. The Alamo was pretty much a beat down warehouse with various tools and supplies that needed some cleaning up and a little bit of demolition. During this time, various groups set for prayer walks where we met some of the great people of New Orleans. One person that our prayer group met was a young man and his mother on their front porch and they discussed with us their life in New Orleans before and after Katrina hit. To think that people who have been hit by such a tragedy looked happier than we do on a regular basis kept me in awe. After we finished our work, we set out for Castle Rock Community Church where we had dinner and then spent some time in silence. I read something in scripture that I have read in the past, but it struck me hard as an eye opener for this trip. Colossians 4:5 says 'Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity' and this hit me because I feel like I have been struggling with keeping a smile due to things happening back at home and I felt that the Lord was telling me to keep a smile because it shows to those around me. I spent the rest of the night in an utter bliss through this scripture and I felt like I was glorifying the Lord through this. This is my first mission trip ever and I must say that even so far, my life has been changed immensly and I know the Lord has much more in store for me and us down here.
God Is Good ALL THE TIME! All The Time GOD IS GOOD!

-Roberto

Helloooo!!!!! Greetings from Nowlyans!
Happy Easter! Jesus is risen!
To add to Tanner's post.....today was really awesome! Day one and we are already having a blast. This morning we attended the service at the church that we are calling home this week, Trinity Church. It was a great service, the pastor talked about Matthew 11: Jesus's yoke is light. Although something I have heard my whole life, it was really powerful and fresh. A lot of us were really impacted by the service. Later on we headed down to New Orleans (across the 20-something mile long bridge....) and spent sometime getting a feel for the city. Wow. What a cool city. We saw several musicians out on the streets playing. We watched some guys doing a pretty cool 'breakdance' show.....they were really good. Vicky and I got to bust-a-move with them in the beginging before they started.....a whole new side of me has come out ;). During the show, Corinne got flipped over. I am not sure if any of that makes sense but just wait till you see the videos :). We also got to try some typical New Orleans food- Crawfish (which I reluctantly tried and surprisingly really like...but only when Paul opens it for me, the face is too much for me) and Jumbalya, yum. We saw the Superdome and seeing it really struck me just thinking about how during Katrina it was packed with desperate and scared people. God held off the rain and we had a dry day :). I have already begun to see God working in my life and other people have told me they are already seeing God too (as if God wouldn't have big plans :) ). Continue to keep us up in your prayers! Tomorrow we begin our work! We love and miss you all!!!
Ingrid

Hello fellow Hope churchians (if that's a word), anyways, this is Tanner Petty giving you all a subtle update on our amazing trip down the BIG easy. If you are clueless to what the big easy is, it is the nickname for the great city of New Orleans. Basically, the trip so far as already began to touch the lives of all us. Today the group traveled to the heart of the city. We strolled the maze of streets, stopping at shops along the way to observe the true culture of New Orleans. Jazz music was everywhere giving a rythmic beat in which to walk to. I think the thing that struck us the most was the livliness of the people and the city. Even through terrible tragedies and heart breaking memories, the people are overwhelmingly welcoming. Several times we were surprised to hear a "happy easter" coming from a random person on the streets. The truth is these people are longing for people to talk to, people to connect with, anyone to listen. The city of New Orleans is in fact alive with God's presence continuoesly working through his disciples. I want to thank everyone for their prayers and their willingness to support us. We love you all and hope that you have a wonderful week. In God's name, good bye!!

Tanner Petty

2009

April 11th

The day has arrived out of no where. I am ready to go but still up. What will I see? What will I hear? I am going to New Orleans, a place of much sadness. Will I see Jesus in places of darkness or in places of light? Will I be able to grasp the magnitude of pain these people had during that one dark hour of their life. Huricane Katrina!

This is not a story about all I came to do. This is a story about what the Lord wants me to do.

And finally my verses for this weeks missions trip.

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 10:9,10

And what the Lord requires me to do this week is to seek Him with all my heart, my mind and my soul.

How about you, are you seeking HIM?

JESUS FREAK

(1 PETER 3:13-17)

In 1999, DC Talk and the Voice of Martyrs came out with a book called JESUS FREAKS. This is an awesome book of stories about people from all over the world who suffered for their faith. The idea of the book came from a song on DC Talks Album called JESUS FREAKS. It is in that song these lyrics have haunted me.

What will people think

When they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak?

What will people do

When they find that's it's true?

Separated, I cut myself clean

From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams

Been apprehended by a spiritual force

And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced

So when I read this passage, I thought of the song Jesus Freak. I want to be a Jesus Freak. A Freak is someone who commits to something wholeheartedly, without apology or compromise. So I found myself asking these questions to myself. Am I committed to Jesus wholeheartedly without compromise? Oh the days I can kick myself when I compromise. I live in Fairfield County in America, have I really suffered for my faith. No, Not really. Even if I do suffer, do I know that I am blessed? Everyday I count my blessings and list 5 things I am thankful for. Am I prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks me to give the reason for the hope that is in me? And my answer to that was a startling “maybe”. Then I realized that maybe I’m not the Jesus Freak that I should be or want to be. And I realized it’s not about me when asked, but it’s about them. And in vs 14 it states, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord” You see because of the “hope” in me and that He is Lord of my life, I have been set apart by Christ to give an answer. And I should not care what people think, do or say about me, because I am testimony of the grace that Christ bestowed upon me. I need to give that answer, I need to put what they think aside! And honestly, it’s hard and tough!


Am I prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks?

PLAYING WITH WORDS

A few of my fellow blogger posted a blog titled "WORDPLAY". So I thought I would post some words too. I like words, but I have not mastered them. I like learning new words and that process never ends. I like the craft of the word, and how each one fits into another. So here we go.

Sequacious
Sad
Sane

Social
Seeing
Saphire

Seabearing
Savory
Slinky

Sabatoge
Soapbox
Static

Sap
Stellar

Stagnant


Leader
Lovely
Liable

Late
Lonely
Proper

Done

Really Done

So Done

GONE

Nothing can replace your touch or embrace.

Nothing matters but your look into my eyes and your voice whispering.

In bed I reach over and touch nothingness. I cry myself to sleep. My pillow is drenched. It's quiet here without you.

I go into the walk-in closet and reminders of you are everywhere.

No more warm embrace.

No more smell of that cologne.

No more calls during the day.

Sometimes I cry so hard it hurts.

Sometimes I miss you so much I cry!

Gone

HONESTLY

HAUNTED

I am still haunted by the fact that so

many of our young people that

I know have turned to drugs.

I am haunted by the fact

that so many people I

know have cancer.

I am haunted by the fact that so

many people are hurting in so

many ways.

I am just plain haunted

that so many people I know

don't know the Lord.

I am haunted by the fact

that I just don't know how

to reach them or help them.

I am haunted by the fact

that I can't help everyone.

I am haunted by being haunted

that too many scary things keep

me up at night.

I am haunted by the ghosts in

your closet and mine.