A WEEK AT THE

HARD ROCK HOTEL!

It was a much needed vacation with my husband and two youngest. Robert and Corey. Our first vacation with out the two oldest with definately a different twist. The one thing I appreciate about our younger boys is they don't need much. They don't even need to be entertained they just entertain themselves. (Meaning they don't bug us to eat, drink or souveneers.)

I was amazed to see all the people who were booked in this rather high priced hotel. I was amazed to see that we could actually afford it. But I guess the shock was the guilt I felt with the money we were spending when (Okay I will say it,)there are poor starving kids in Africa. The truth is I'm not really shocked as I would like to because it was fun and I wouldn't of traded it in for nothing. And there will always be starving people and I can't help everyone!

The last few years we have not taken a vacation at all. Business was slow this year and it was the perfect time. I learned more about my two boys on the trip than I ever did. We enjoyed each other, annoyed each other and even laughed at each other. How cool is that.

Now back to this Hard Rock Cafe thing. Okay I had to laugh, people were spending so much on there accounts. The draw was poolside service. It really should be poolside drain your bank accounts. I have always been one for moderation and considering we are in tough times, I continued my bent for moderation. Yes in moderation we order by the pool but not everyday and every minute. I was surprized to see that most kids had their own accounts. Okay that was nice for them. But my kid's did not. Especially not when Coke was 5 bucks by the poolside. Hey but I did get water with a lemon for free delivered, now that was cool. Everything by the way was extra. Needless to say, I didn't need anything extra. I guess the best thing about staying there is we were right in Universal Studios. So we got unlimited passes to Universal and Unlimited passes to Island of Adventures. Also because we stayed at Hard Rock we went right to the front of the line. Can I tell you how cool that was. People were waiting in lines in the hot sun for over an hour. And we went on ride after ride with not a wait at all. And that is what made staying at the Hard Rock cool.

Now we did go to Disney for a day. And went on everything that we could of. And we did fast pass a couple of rides and that was real fun. But we did have to wait in a few lines. But that was okay too.

We did some great dinners, saw some great shows and really had a great time. And I didn't spend a whole lot of money. And we even made money while we were away. The cool thing about the hard rock was it was like a museum of famous Musicians and there instruments or there outfits. Very cool to see. Okay, the point is I would definately stay there again, but just for a weekend so we can get the passages to the parks and zip through to the front of the line and then go to a cheaper hotel. LOL And by the way for all you MIB fans in the Men in Black car at Universal or Islands with my 2 boys and husband, I shot the most monsters or whatever you call them. Ahh beaten by a girl again!

If I had to live my life over again I would............!

.......not do anything differently.

Well maybe I would tweak it a little bit. Erma Bomback once wrote an article of all the things she would do differently or in actuality what she would do. I thought about that. And I was reminded of this article because of a seminar I attended in May of 2007. I was reminded that I really do like my life and I wouldn't really make any radical change to my life. So here is what I did come up with.

I would not do anything diffently because I already reflect more. And I take the time to do it. I don't let things like my life pass with out giving it attention. I like examining and seeing what I can improve on. I like to let God flow into my heart and be the basic everything in my life. I like pondering on all the good things that God has done and what he will continue to do in my life. This way when the bad happens or circumstances happen, I have a foundation of a God who loves me so much. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things." Think ON THESE THINGS. I have spent half of this year acknowledging the the things that are true about God and what He has done in my life. One thing I have learned is that I can't be strong in the Lord if I am always beating up on myself. God is amazingly the biggest factor in my life that I need to meditate and reflect more on.

Erma states she would take more risks, maybe clean less and use the fine china more. As far as taking risks, well I have taken some good and not so good risks. But one of the biggest risk is believing in God. Am I some weirdo that really believes in Loving God up in the Big Sky. Yeh I am. I will believe it again and again and again. His fingerprints are all over me.

Stepping out on faith and going on Missions Trips out of my control and comfort zones are risks, but good ones. Life changing ones. The ones when you come back and see what you have seen, you never forget. The ones that have caused me to live differently. That is risk.

Okay maybe I have taken some bad risks. Such as jumping off a cliff. What was I thinking? Well at least if I goofed and didn't land right, I would be in heaven with God. But Im sure that was not part of the plan. And by the way it really did hurt when I landed in the water tilted on my side a bit. It felt like a 2 by 4 hitting me real hard. Yikes.

Maybe the other risk that was kind of bad was scuba diving in St. Croix 1 day in a half before flying home. There was a fine line if that was safe to that so close to flying. But the real kicker was the waiver I signed that they would not be responsible if I get the bends and die, or if I get attacked by a shark. etc.

By far though for me have been those risks that I have taken for God. I would do it again in a heart beat. And really keeping a clean house and using the fine china are really insignificant when it comes to the fullness of life that I have in God.

Tony Compolo said that He would do more things that would live on after he is dead. Now that is legacy. That is destiny. I would love to have a legacy, things and relationships that live on after I die. In someways I get to see that now. I have been apart of a mission in Belize now for over 7 years and now I get to see the fruit of that. God is amazing and has done wonderful things. Such as in a place called the burial grounds in Belize City there is a school that kids get to go to that would have never ever went to school. I got to have a hand in getting that school up and running. Now thats what is important, making a difference in peoples lives. That is legacy. The other thing that always makes me excited is when through one of the Bible Studys I teach that some had made a better relationship with the Lord or a life transforming changes bringing them closer to the Lord. That is exciting.

Somewhere in scripture it states we are called to do good, because of our faith we are called to do good works, not to gain us salvation but out of our love for the Lord. That is what I will continue to do through the Lord. Will I do anything different? No Way!

Retrospect Revisited!!!!!

A review, survey, or contemplation of things in the past! That is the definition in noun form. Every once in awhile I revisit the past. Sometimes it's good, sometimes its bad. Sometimes it's something that I really want to write about, sometimes my pen has not even begun to or I wouldn't even dare. Sometimes I wish I could forget about it. So here I am being introspective about Retrospect. Here is my one time blog exposure to something of the past that should probably not be even remembered, or maybe even in these archives. Here goes:

The summer of 2007 should be titled "Upheaval at Best". Or maybe "August Uproot". So let's take August 2007 for instance. Life was going somewhat tra la la,la la and then UPHEAVAL. Many of my friends go through these upheavals, but at the time mine seemed like the worst. The thing is, I really don't have to go into details but just to honestly say my life changed completely in August of 2007. And I began slowly to unravel and fall apart. So Lori, give me some details. NOT, no details, ya just have to know it was painful and gut wrenching hard. Somewhere at the end of the year, I knew I had to choose to focus on God or wallow in self pity. Have you ever been in the dungeon of self-pity? How about it the prison of "WHY ME"? How about "Where are you LORD"?

How about "OH, Say it isn't true"? Or how about, "Not my daughter Or Not my Son"? Or how about, "I just can't do this anymore"? Or how about "I just want to go and crawl under a rock and hide for ever"?

Well anyway I'm being retrospective today and it's nice to be out of 2007. So what are somethings I did learn.

#1. God really is in Control

#2. I really am not in Control

#3. I am broken once again, and God has made me beautiful

#4. I can't fix things

#5 God does hold on, step in, intervene in HIS timing.

#6 And I love God more than anything else in my life.

#7 Things may not be a 100% perfect in my eyes but in God's timing and agenda He has a plan and I must wait

#8 Humpty Dumpty couldn't be put back together again, but the Lord has transformed me into something new again and again.

So I do know that our Lord is faithful. I am living proof of that. His promises always come true and He will get us through the UPHEAVALS in our life.

Across the corner from South Derbingny in

New Orleans

Okay, It's been four days and now I'm home from Nawlins. But it has left a mark on my life. I can't get certain conversations out of my head.

One was my conversation with a man named Keith, pictured above and you guessed it, I am having a conversation with him on the porch posted in the picture above. In fact, I think most of my conversations were with people sitting on porches.

So here I am at the end of the day sitting with Keith, and he was telling me about the house that we were gutting. He told me that he attended a wake for his grandmother in the house. It was kind of a weird way to start a conversation, but I found myself beginning to ask him questions. Like how old was he when that happened. Then amazingly it began, I asked him the question, I've been asking everyone I bumped into. Were you here during the huricane? Were you scared? What now, since then.

For Keith it has been a long struggle trying to deal with the train wreck on his life, but he told me about being in his house during the huricane and the roof and house shaking so badly that he didn't know if he would see the next day. I don't think I have ever been that scared. He told me for the last couple of years it's been about rebuilding and living. But I can only imagine what it would be like to be in his predicament.

By the end of the conversation we exchanged names, I gave him a water and went to hop in my car and go across the causeway with a bunch of Teens. Once again slightly taken back from the pain that Huricane Katrina caused. Not numb at all but incredibly feeling everything he said to me and remembering.

It's late Thursday night in New Orleans, and it's warmer outside than it is at noon on a sunny Connecticut spring day. I, Corinne Hirotsu, am really enjoying this weather, along with my new rolled-up-t-shirt-sleeve tan. Today we did some demolition, put up some drywall, and worked a block party; however, the most significant work I did today included playing with a little African American boy named Paul.

All week, I have been hearing various leaders say things like "It's not about the work, it's about the people," and I have even been telling myself the same thing. But I didn't really know how true this statement was until today. I spent half of the work day (about three hours-ish) with Paul and a few others, playing in the lot across the street, and the other half shoveling insulation and carrying drywall. While spending the first half of the day playing with Paul, I felt guilty about not doing any physical labor, and asked if I should help upstairs in the apartments we were in the process of demolishing. Contrary to my expectations, Mr. Maudsley told me that it wasn't necessary, and that in playing with Paul, I was doing even more important work than any manual labor I could otherwise be doing. I realized that I could use the time with Paul to show him God's love, and further understand his family's current situation. Afterwards, I felt so content and accomplished, and I felt like I had really given him a good idea of what God's love is.

After lunch, I decided to do some heavy lifting upstairs. After over two and a half hours of my work goggles fogging up and large pieces of drywall crashing down on my head, (*ahem* Chip Larsen,) I was sweaty and exhausted, but I felt nowhere near as accomplished as I did after I spent that time with Paul.

In short, today I learned from experience that the most fulfilling work comes not from exerting yourself, but from touching people's lives. I know that we will always remember Paul's abundant joy and happiness, and I pray that he will lead a full life, taking every one of his steps with God by his side.

Hello and greetings from Nawlins! This is Kori Dean speaking, in case you couldn't tell by the picture, and I'm here to tell you how our trip is going so far. Today was another day of hard work at the site, though it was obvious that we worked more dilligently. Not to mention the fact that we seemed to become experts at demolishing houses overnight. I mean Vicky and I took down a celing in the time span of half and hour. Talk about impressive. I'd also like to say that the block party was a huge success. We all took the time to reach out to the people of New Orleans and hear their stories. I was very proud of everyone and the courage they showed. It was, all around, a really great day.

A few of us experienced something that I would like to share with you all. While Eddie, Vicky, Max, Chip, Chris, and myself (forgive me if I forgot someone) were at Rally's for lunch, waiting for our food, we began talking to this man. He didn't seem to have a very fortunate life. He had an injured leg and was forced to travel around on some sort of automatic wheelchair (for lack of a better term...it's midnight here, cut me some slack). Max then brought up the topic of the hurricane and he told us his story. He had escaped the storm before he could experience the worst of it, but he left his mother, sister, and cousin behind. They were all killed during Katrina.

But here this man was, smiling, completely content. He didn't even ask us for anything. He told us Jesus was all he needed. He then promised us he would be at the block party and rolled away.

This had a huge impact on me, and I'm sure it had a great impact on the others who were there with me. The fact that someone can be so happy after so much sadness is truly an act of God. I truly hope to see more of this before I leave the city. But that's all I have for now. I got to turn the computer over to Corinne. Night!

Today we pranked the California kids. Last night we went to Wal-Mart and bought rubber animals and zip ties, and after they left this morning we put the animals in their sleeping bags and ziptied their shoes and luggage together. They thought it was hilarious, and everyone got a good laugh out of it.

When we got to the work site we did demolition again, on an identical unit from yesterday. We had a better idea of what we were doing, and it seemed a lot easier than yesterday’s work. Yesterday Mr. Maudsley and I must have spent three hours taking down three ceiling fans. Today it only took fifteen or twenty minutes, which was a blessing as we were able to get a lot of other things done. We almost completely gutted the house, and will be able to start putting up fresh drywall by the end of the week. We got back to the church and had a nice dinner, before having a joint worship service with the other group. A lot of people shared their stories about how God has been working through their groups this week and it was very powerful. All in all, it was a great day and hopefully we will have another successful day tomorrow.
BY CHIP LARSEN

In the last few days God has changed the lives of many through hard work and new relationships.

Two big life changing events happened today.

The first of these events was beginning to occur before lunch. My upper back was hurting and I prayed that we would go to lunch and that in that time my back could heal. The lifting of sheetrock in small pieces was awkward and somewhat heavy, and after lunch, when I went to lift the sheetrock my back had a hint of pain, remembering that God has said ask and you will receive I asked for my back to stop hurting, and within the next load there was no pain.

Another of the many small life changing events that have happened recently was that I have been allowed to "lead" the night time devo. I have planned to expand on the NLT translation of Proverbs 17:5. The meaning of this verse is to show people that making fun of people is a sin.

It has been so amazing to do the work in houses that normally very skilled people do. The opportunity to help others is in abundance, and I have enjoyed the "prayer walks" where we talk to the people who we meet. This missions trip is truly amazing.
- Stephen Jarrett

This week has been so much fun so far! Certain places in the city look a lot different than they did two years ago. My favorite thing to do during my first trip to New Orleans was to listen to the stories of the people who survived Katrina. We got to hear one of those stories yesterday and I wanted to share it with all of you. We met this guy called Dingo . (Wearing red in the picture above) He works with the youth in a section of the city as a part of Castle Rock church's ministry to the people of New Orleans. Dingo became a Christian because he was influenced by the other Christians that he played basketball with at Castle Rock. He was seventeen when the storm hit the city. As usual when hurricanes hit this area, he and his family bunkered down in their house, lit candles, and told stories of years past. he was in high school at the time and after the initial storm hit he went back to school. He heard out on the streets that the levy had broken. Being seventeen years old, he didn't really understand the implications of this. He went home and told his mom what he had heard. Dingo's mom said that they needed to go to his aunt's house a couple blocks away. Dingo told us that the water didn't break the levy dramatically like you see on tv and in movies all the time. He said that only pieces of the levy broke and that the water rose very gradually. His mom got drunk at her sister's during that time and told him that she wanted to go home. He walked her home through water that was five feet high at the time. He couldn't stay there with her and he couldn't get her to leave the house so he and his aunt and sister went to the Superdome. He described some of the conditions of that to us but if I go into that now this will end up being too long. They then were shipped off to Texas where they expected to be housed in an apartment or something. Instead they were put into conditions even worse and more cramped than the Superdome was. Fortunately, they had enough money with them that they were able to stay in a hotel until they could get out of the state. To make things short (sorry!) all three of them returned home and he was reunited with his mom. He was not able to graduate from high school due to circumstances that I can't go into now. However, he applied to a Bible college in California and was able to go because his pastor, because of God's help, found the money for him to go.
There is a lot more to Dingo's story so I will try to get someone else to write about it at some point. We all really appreciate all of your support and prayers and are looking forward to coming home and sharing our abundance of stories of this trip with you. Thanks!!
- Erin Porter

Picture this: It's a rainy day in your hometown. You've got nothing going on, but since it's raining, you can't go outside. All of a sudden you hear large wind gusts, unexpected cries for help, and water flooding the streets. You think to your self, what is going on? Am I going to survive? This was the case for the people of New Orleans on that tragic day in 2005, it was called Hurricane Katrina. I have realized taking that this is my second year on this trip that there is something that the people of New Orleans have that many people lack. That is friendliness and the ability to stay strong. God has showed me throughout this week that even though Hurricane Katrina brought terrible roads ahead for many, these people never complain. I tend to complain if I don't get the TV clicker at 7:30 for my show. These people lost their belongings, pets, family members, and almost everything they have, and they stay strong and only focus on the future. God purposely planned Hurricane Katrina, he sent those whirling winds down on this city for a reason, to unite the world and bring peace to the nations. I am very thankful I have been given the opportunity to serve God and others this week in New Orleans.

----Max Maudsley

As Max said these people went through terror and hardship a few years ago. The hurricane which hit them still has left their beautiful city of New Orleans in critical condition. Even thow their city isnt as nice as other cities and the people themselves arent doing as well as before, they stay happy. With the power of the lord these people are able to put the bad behind and keep going forward. It is truelly great to walk down a sidewalk and be able to say high to someone or have a conversation with someone without being ignored. Today Max and I had a great time pretty much knocking the walls off of the inside of a ladies house. We got messy and dirty but it was by far one of the coolest experiences ever. After all of the work we did, we were able to come back to the church and hang with the California kids. There is a group of 80 from California here and only 20 of us but they arent to bad to us. We bonded with them and even beat them in a frisby game. Every day so far makes you wanna just fast forward to the next day because it is so great. This trip isnt just about the fun though it also has been changing me to be a better Christian. I am very blessed to be here and it is very obvious the people of New Orleans are happy to have us here too. It is a blessing from God that I am here and I know it was not a mistake that God put me here to serve Him.

----Eduardo White

Hey, from Molly Fox and Jessica Petty! April 14th, 2009...what a day. There was much work to be done as we approached the work cite. Little did we know, our lives were about to be drastically changed. When we first got there we met Dingo. He shared a very emotional testimony about his experiences and trials because of the outcome of Katrina. He also let us know how these hardships led him to lean and depend on God as his savior. Everyone was listening intently and our hearts longed to please God through our day of demolition. However fun demolition sounds, it is so hard. Dripping with sweat, we were able to gut more than half of an apartment. Laughing and joking, we made sure the job was done pleasurably. What many people don't know is, not all the fun occurs at the work cite. Today, we had intense soccer and frisbee games, Hope against the other church from California. It was a real icebreaker and gave us all time to bond and have a good time, after an exhausting day. Quite possibly the most moving part of the day was tonight at devos. It was as if God had intervened and brought us into great discussion and testimony. The worship was led by Paul Karus and the message by Kayla Maudsley. Both were quite moving and gave us a further appreciation for eachother and the amazing oppertunity to come to New Orleans and grow in our faith. Tears were shed and hearts were changed today and we got to know eachother through God's grace in ways none of us could have ever imagined. Though weve done alot already, it's only the second day and we have much more to accomplish. We are so excited to see what comes our way! GOD BLESS!!

Hello from New Orleans!! Kayla Maudsley speaking :)
Today was our first day of work, and I couldn't believe how quickly 6 AM came. Surprisingly, I was so excited to start working that I jumped out of bed cheerfully and excitedly (my parents would never believe it). After breakfast and devotions, we were all ready to start working by around 8. Our first job was actually in the church we are staying at - unloading cases of candy, shampoo, and bottles of juice and placing them in their proper places in the church.
Okay, skip ahead about an hour and a half and our group has already crossed the 24-mile causeway bridge and driven into the central city. Our next task was at the "Alamo", which is basically a building without walls, where the EFCA keeps some of their tools. The next two hours were filled with lots of lifting and moving items, such as large peices of wood, wires, tables, and other various items. Even though i was whipped with a piece of wire, scratched by splinters from wood, tearing from dirt blown into my eyes, and bruised unknowingly, I had an amazing time working. I love the way serving brings inexpressible and glorious joy. After our job at the Alamo winded down, a few of us decided to take a prayer-walk and meet some new people. We mostly talked with children. Two kids we met were named Heaven and Jamal, who are cousins. We all had a fun time pushing them around in a shopping cart form Wal-mart, passing a ball, and giving new hairstyles to each other. Jamal was very quiet, and he told us he was held back a year in school because he moved a lot. Although we didnt ask him why specifically he moved, we could assume it might have had something to do with Katrina. Heaven and Jamal showed me that you dont need an xbox, a tv, an ipod, or a cell phone to have a good time. They relied on each other to entertain themselves, and they had a fun time on their own. Another woman we talked to later on couldn't keep from thanking us, she spotted us walking down the street and yelled 'thank you' to us, and kept encouraging us in our work. Now everyone is telling me to go to bed, so hopefully you got a good depiction of what a small portion of my day looked like! Thanks for all your prayers! I can feel them all the time :)

Hello there to those reading this and greeting from Nawlins! My name is Roberto Sancho and this is my first time at New Orleans. Right now its Monday night and we just had a fun packed day. We woke up at 6 like the usual day and we had our breakfast and morning devos and set for our work. Our first job was on the Trinity Church grounds which was taking bottles and boxed toiletries to a different vacation and after that we set for our job at the Alamo. The Alamo was pretty much a beat down warehouse with various tools and supplies that needed some cleaning up and a little bit of demolition. During this time, various groups set for prayer walks where we met some of the great people of New Orleans. One person that our prayer group met was a young man and his mother on their front porch and they discussed with us their life in New Orleans before and after Katrina hit. To think that people who have been hit by such a tragedy looked happier than we do on a regular basis kept me in awe. After we finished our work, we set out for Castle Rock Community Church where we had dinner and then spent some time in silence. I read something in scripture that I have read in the past, but it struck me hard as an eye opener for this trip. Colossians 4:5 says 'Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity' and this hit me because I feel like I have been struggling with keeping a smile due to things happening back at home and I felt that the Lord was telling me to keep a smile because it shows to those around me. I spent the rest of the night in an utter bliss through this scripture and I felt like I was glorifying the Lord through this. This is my first mission trip ever and I must say that even so far, my life has been changed immensly and I know the Lord has much more in store for me and us down here.
God Is Good ALL THE TIME! All The Time GOD IS GOOD!

-Roberto

Helloooo!!!!! Greetings from Nowlyans!
Happy Easter! Jesus is risen!
To add to Tanner's post.....today was really awesome! Day one and we are already having a blast. This morning we attended the service at the church that we are calling home this week, Trinity Church. It was a great service, the pastor talked about Matthew 11: Jesus's yoke is light. Although something I have heard my whole life, it was really powerful and fresh. A lot of us were really impacted by the service. Later on we headed down to New Orleans (across the 20-something mile long bridge....) and spent sometime getting a feel for the city. Wow. What a cool city. We saw several musicians out on the streets playing. We watched some guys doing a pretty cool 'breakdance' show.....they were really good. Vicky and I got to bust-a-move with them in the beginging before they started.....a whole new side of me has come out ;). During the show, Corinne got flipped over. I am not sure if any of that makes sense but just wait till you see the videos :). We also got to try some typical New Orleans food- Crawfish (which I reluctantly tried and surprisingly really like...but only when Paul opens it for me, the face is too much for me) and Jumbalya, yum. We saw the Superdome and seeing it really struck me just thinking about how during Katrina it was packed with desperate and scared people. God held off the rain and we had a dry day :). I have already begun to see God working in my life and other people have told me they are already seeing God too (as if God wouldn't have big plans :) ). Continue to keep us up in your prayers! Tomorrow we begin our work! We love and miss you all!!!
Ingrid

Hello fellow Hope churchians (if that's a word), anyways, this is Tanner Petty giving you all a subtle update on our amazing trip down the BIG easy. If you are clueless to what the big easy is, it is the nickname for the great city of New Orleans. Basically, the trip so far as already began to touch the lives of all us. Today the group traveled to the heart of the city. We strolled the maze of streets, stopping at shops along the way to observe the true culture of New Orleans. Jazz music was everywhere giving a rythmic beat in which to walk to. I think the thing that struck us the most was the livliness of the people and the city. Even through terrible tragedies and heart breaking memories, the people are overwhelmingly welcoming. Several times we were surprised to hear a "happy easter" coming from a random person on the streets. The truth is these people are longing for people to talk to, people to connect with, anyone to listen. The city of New Orleans is in fact alive with God's presence continuoesly working through his disciples. I want to thank everyone for their prayers and their willingness to support us. We love you all and hope that you have a wonderful week. In God's name, good bye!!

Tanner Petty

2009

April 11th

The day has arrived out of no where. I am ready to go but still up. What will I see? What will I hear? I am going to New Orleans, a place of much sadness. Will I see Jesus in places of darkness or in places of light? Will I be able to grasp the magnitude of pain these people had during that one dark hour of their life. Huricane Katrina!

This is not a story about all I came to do. This is a story about what the Lord wants me to do.

And finally my verses for this weeks missions trip.

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 10:9,10

And what the Lord requires me to do this week is to seek Him with all my heart, my mind and my soul.

How about you, are you seeking HIM?

JESUS FREAK

(1 PETER 3:13-17)

In 1999, DC Talk and the Voice of Martyrs came out with a book called JESUS FREAKS. This is an awesome book of stories about people from all over the world who suffered for their faith. The idea of the book came from a song on DC Talks Album called JESUS FREAKS. It is in that song these lyrics have haunted me.

What will people think

When they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak?

What will people do

When they find that's it's true?

Separated, I cut myself clean

From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams

Been apprehended by a spiritual force

And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced

So when I read this passage, I thought of the song Jesus Freak. I want to be a Jesus Freak. A Freak is someone who commits to something wholeheartedly, without apology or compromise. So I found myself asking these questions to myself. Am I committed to Jesus wholeheartedly without compromise? Oh the days I can kick myself when I compromise. I live in Fairfield County in America, have I really suffered for my faith. No, Not really. Even if I do suffer, do I know that I am blessed? Everyday I count my blessings and list 5 things I am thankful for. Am I prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks me to give the reason for the hope that is in me? And my answer to that was a startling “maybe”. Then I realized that maybe I’m not the Jesus Freak that I should be or want to be. And I realized it’s not about me when asked, but it’s about them. And in vs 14 it states, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord” You see because of the “hope” in me and that He is Lord of my life, I have been set apart by Christ to give an answer. And I should not care what people think, do or say about me, because I am testimony of the grace that Christ bestowed upon me. I need to give that answer, I need to put what they think aside! And honestly, it’s hard and tough!


Am I prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks?

PLAYING WITH WORDS

A few of my fellow blogger posted a blog titled "WORDPLAY". So I thought I would post some words too. I like words, but I have not mastered them. I like learning new words and that process never ends. I like the craft of the word, and how each one fits into another. So here we go.

Sequacious
Sad
Sane

Social
Seeing
Saphire

Seabearing
Savory
Slinky

Sabatoge
Soapbox
Static

Sap
Stellar

Stagnant


Leader
Lovely
Liable

Late
Lonely
Proper

Done

Really Done

So Done

GONE

Nothing can replace your touch or embrace.

Nothing matters but your look into my eyes and your voice whispering.

In bed I reach over and touch nothingness. I cry myself to sleep. My pillow is drenched. It's quiet here without you.

I go into the walk-in closet and reminders of you are everywhere.

No more warm embrace.

No more smell of that cologne.

No more calls during the day.

Sometimes I cry so hard it hurts.

Sometimes I miss you so much I cry!

Gone

HONESTLY

HAUNTED

I am still haunted by the fact that so

many of our young people that

I know have turned to drugs.

I am haunted by the fact

that so many people I

know have cancer.

I am haunted by the fact that so

many people are hurting in so

many ways.

I am just plain haunted

that so many people I know

don't know the Lord.

I am haunted by the fact

that I just don't know how

to reach them or help them.

I am haunted by the fact

that I can't help everyone.

I am haunted by being haunted

that too many scary things keep

me up at night.

I am haunted by the ghosts in

your closet and mine.

32 questions I just answered without Tagging anyone. (LOL)

1. Was I NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, my middle name is Stephanie named after my Grandmother on my Dads side. All the ladies got her name.

2. THE LAST TIME I CRIED? Sunday Night, really and honestly I do cry everyday sometimes. I just haven't yet today but there is still time.

3. DO I LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? NO It borders on me being psychotic or being a serial killer.

4. My FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey, (not processed)

5. DO I have KIDS? Yes! Too Many, 3 boys and a girl and a grandson, Heck Birth control should have been mandatory in my state.

6. IF I WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD I BE FRIENDS WITH ME? Yes, Im loyal and trustworthy. I am funny. I can talk a lot, if I had me who else would I need.

7. DO I USE SARCASM? I confess I did but not as much anymore, because I was told by a teacher that “Sarcasm hurts the flesh” And I also lost a friend in College with my sarcasm. But when I get rolling I can tear a person a part with my sarcasm.

8. WOULD I BUNGEE JUMP? Nope, I have no desire to. Who wants to go up and down on an elastic band.

9. DO I UNTIE MY SHOES WHEN I TAKE THEM OFF? Depends, on if I feel like it or not.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Hagen daz any flavor

11. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING I NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes, that tells me a lot. I like people to look at me in the eye when they talk to me.

12. RED OR PINK? Neither I hate both, how about blue

13. WHAT IS my LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT mySELF? Too many flaws if I write them, it will depress me for the rest of the day and I refuse to be depressed.

14. WHO DO I MISS THE MOST? My friends Chip and Julie from Col

15. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES Am I WEARING? Blue jeans, and bare feet right now and I know that’s has been how some of you had met me.

16. WHAT AM I LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Just quiet, pure quiet.

17. IF I WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD I BE? If I were a crayon, I wouldn't be typing this blog right now. I would probably be a Broken Blue crayon.

18. FAVORITE SMELLS? Hazelnut coffee.

19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Bill, There is not a day that goes by when he does not call me from work. He is my best buddy.

20. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football

21. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything fondue

22. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings... I Love a HAPPY ending Hallmark movies always have happy endings... SCary movies leave me thinking. A really good movie according to me is if I cried!

23. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? One of those Hallmark movies with a good friend.

24. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? My Walktoberfest walk for Diabetes shirt.

25. SUMMER OR WINTER? SUMMER! Neither, Im a fall girl

26. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who. Hugs are safe

27. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Terrify no more By Gary A. Haugen IJO

28. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Any type of musical instrument played well

29. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles, hands down

30. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST I HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Italy

31. DO YOU I HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Many but I Sing and play air guitar and air drums all the time.

32. WHERE Was I BORN? In a cloud, not one picture of me.

Time

(for every season)

I have been thinking alot about time lately. I really don't know why other than I am doing a biblical study on "Resting in Him". Last week I spoke on Stress. I seem to be an expert on that. But more importantly as the stress increases in my life I realize I need more of Jesus. I need to spend more time with Him. This week I will speak on "Knowing your Season". The biblical reference for this is Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Time is mentioned through out these verses.

Is time important? Is there a time for everything in life? What time is in my life now? What Season am I in now? What seasons have I been through? Besides Baseball, Football and Basketball?

My theories are many on Seasons. I guess I would be somewhat of an expert on the 4 Seasons. Considering I've been through many Seasons spiritually and physically. Oh and to contemplate these and write about them are somewhat a mixed blessing.

So here goes my take. Fall has been amazing in my life. It's one of my favorite seasons. I wish I got married in the fall. In October. It would have been awesome. If I did, it would have been the one time I actually listened to Bill. (nah, just kidding) It's a time for gathering, preparation. I love the colors of fall. I love the newness of things for me. At this point in my life a new Bible Study usually. The kids have new teachers. The squirrels are invading my world more frequently and dropping nuts on my car.

Winter is bleak, barren, nothing grows. I remember all the stagnant years of my life. Where mentally and physically and spiritually I had been clueless. Nothing was happening. I remember loosing that first love. It was winter. I hate going through winter but I realize we have to. The benefits of winter are few for me, but I do like snuggling down with some hot tea or coffee. But when I do I begin to ponder and think about the how bleak and dreary life can get.

Spring is too busy for me, that is my crazy season. Yes I am a nut job. Ah but the sun is finally out and winter is over. That is what I like most about spring. I'm finally renewed, getting it. Breathing. It was always the hardest for me to be inside especially when I was at school.

Summer is rest for the busy season in my life. But not really, that's when I fill my life up with as many activities that I can do in the nice weather. It's when I do what I call my secular reading. Yes I enjoy books in the summer that are not too Christian. Summer is when I go to Belize and catch up with my friends there.

There is a another season in my life, it's called "Now". I realize that right now, I wont ever be able to go back to that now. It's over forever. I realize though there are 4 physical seasons there really is many other seasons that happen in our Time Span of life. And at one point it was "Now" but not anymore. Oh how I savor the nows, and the yesterdays and the yesteryears but I look forward to many more nows and many more years and what God and His agenda for my future has in store for me.

25 Random Things about me

1. I love walking on the Beach, either alone or with a good friend.

2. I was a wedding singer. Sang at many weddings.

3. I sang a duet with my husband at our Wedding.

4. I was a grandmother at 45.

5. I have seen Pride and Predjudice at least 10 times. And I would watch it again.

6. I love the Lord with all my soul, mind and heart. I can't wait to get up into heaven.

7. I like Jazz. And I love to hear Alto Saxes.

8. My pinkie toe is curled in and looks deformed.

9. I jumped about 35 feet into water in Belize.

10. I've been skinny dipping.

11. I've sang at few funerals and at one that I sang at I broke down in Tears.

12. I worked in Psychiatirc and drug ward.

13. I got married at age 19. It was the best thing I have ever done in my whole life.

14. I love to take pictures of Random things.

15. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, thats assuming I would grow up.

16. I been to Belize doing missions trips since 2003, and I have friends that I miss now.

17. I have trouble sleeping at night, even when I work hard at trying to sleep I still can't sleep.

18. I took Latin in Highschool, why I don't know.

19. I was in drama group called the Storm Troopers and I played Pinkus in "The Front Page"

20. I used to play softball 3 nights a week. And I was good, very good.

21. I once sang a duet with a friend and we both stopped singing at the same time and cracked up for the same reason, the piano player played the wrong note. And we had a fairly full house.

22. I am married to my best friend in the whole wide world, Bill, he is my soul mate. We talk every moment we get a chance to. And my favorite thing we do together is pray. We have been married for 26 years. And if I had to do it over again, I would do it in a New York Minute.

23. Okay I confess, I didn't do well training my kids, you think Now that I have dog, I can train Him.

24. Spent 2 weeks in Italy

25. I've been Scuba diving in St. Croix and snorkling in Belize. I horsebacked through a rainforest in St. Croix. And I've seen and experienced the Grand canyon in person.

Borrowing with Pleasure!

Okay, I want to blog something today and I am a list person and love them. So I borrowed this list from Gail, http://silvermine.blogspot.com/ who borrowed it from http://an-authentic-life.blogspot.com/2009/01/100-things.html . who borrowed it from http://kaysthinkingcap.blogspot.com/ So needless to say if they can do it, so can I. The bold highlights are all the things I have done! And for the benifit of the reader, I even gave comments.

1. Started my own blog (encouraged by Someone)
2. Slept under the stars (In Belize on an Island)
3. Played in a band. (Yep, I was a wedding singer)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower ( I was invited to one that never happened by my Husband before were married)
6. Given more than I can afford to charity (It's those darn starving kids, they get me all the time)
7. Been to Disneyland/world (Too many times)
8. Climbed a mountain (Cannon in New Hampshire and a Mountain in New York too)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo. (Many, Many times)
11. Bungee jumped -(I have no desire)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea (On that same Island in Belize)
14. Taught myself an art from scratch. (I learned how to play guitar myself)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. (climbed lots of stairs)
18. Grown my own vegetables. (Only to have them eaten by wild animals)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight (while laughing my head off)
22. Hitchhiked (don't tell my mom)
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. (Those of us who do call it a mental health day)
24. Built a snow fort (with my loyal dog Misty at my side when I was a little)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping -(At the pits in Wilton)
27. Run a Marathon (In May of 2001 in Vermont)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (Yes with my Husband)
29. Seen a total eclipse (Yes, Magnificant)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (I have pictures to prove it)
31. Hit a home run. (SWEET)
32. Been on a cruise (Carnival to the Bahama's)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community (February 2008)
36. Taught myself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (I'm always Satisfied)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (was in Italy didn't make the trip opted for the Uffizi)
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (His hands are so big)
41. Sung karaoke. (in a Lunch Bar in Belize)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight (Many times, for many reasons)
46. Been transported in an ambulance (yep in a car accident)
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person (was right outside it but the Pope died and the Conclave was going on)
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
.51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (Scuba in St. Croix & snorkling the 2nd greatest barrier reef)
52. Kissed in the rain (after an argument about going to ET)
53. Played in the mud (Many times when little)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (Peter Pan & a Mad, mad, mad world is what I remember)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (Duncan and Duncan Plumbing LLC)
58. Taken a martial arts class (Tang soo doo muk duk kwan)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies. (even as an Adult GS leader)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason (Yep, it's called love)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (Yep)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (always by accident)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. ( a mercedes matchbox car)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square. (Not on New years Eve)
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (Toes)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. (Michael Mansfield, he's dead now)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (yes with my two favorite people)
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican (Stood outside of it in the rain, the line was long, didn't go in, the Pope died)
82. Bought a brand new car (many times)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper (Yes, mostly for softball)
85. Read the entire Bible (Close but no cigar)
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox. (when I was 2)
89. Saved someone’s life (Twice, I saved a little girl from getting hit by car again after she just got hit and my mom from choking on a peice of meat on Mothers day)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (too many)
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone (Yep)
99. Been stung by a bee. (Many times, they love me)
100. Ridden an elephant (why would anyone want to)

And What Have YOU done?

There is a song that you hear almost on every radio station during the Christmas season, the song is Happy Christmas. I can hear now as I write this. Can you? The first few lines repeat over and over in my head. They are written by John Lennon who always seemed to have a handle on the culture. I can't get them out of my mind.

They go something like this:

"So this is Christmas

And what have you done

Another year over

And a new one just begun"

So now that 2008 is over with, what have you done, what have I done?

Did I help someone in need?

Did I sacrifice myself for someone else?

Did I feel someone elses pain?

Did I listen?

Did I hug someone?

Did I give someone a ride?

Did I go the extra mile for someone?

Did I take someone out for Coffee?

Did I go to that wake that I didn't want to go to?

Did I cry with someone with great loss?

Did I step out?

Did I empty my pockets?

Did I?

Did I?"

Did I?

Oh, What have I done? Oh, What have you done?

THE WEATHER OUSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL!!!!

.....................And it's New Years Eve.

Ahh And it's a time for new beginning. 2008 was a good year for me.

It was a time with connecting with old friends and new friends.

It was time of much happiness.

It was a time of getting over the past. (Embracing it and Moving on)

2007(not a good year) Is really beginning to distance itself from me. I am most thankfull for this. I am back to myself but better, wiser. (Supposively)

I really do know that sometimes there isn't happy endings. And so gee, my fairy tale life will not happen.

New Years eve is a time to make those silly resolutions that everyone gives up on by the end of February. So what will be my unrealistic resolutions this year. What will be my good intentioned, life improving, quality resolutions. One only, One word, one thing: SIMPLIFY!!

I want to simplify my life! How will I measure that? I will know that my life is simplified by having more time to do the things I want to do. I like that. Now that is measurable.

Happy NEW YEAR.

Another Year Older!

Today marks my 46th Birthday and I really am in denial about being in my 40's at all.

Like what is it about being in your 40's? Does it make me more important than being in my 30's. But I am 46 and each year I do get a little bit older. I think when is that grand year going to happen for me. You know the year when everything is just fantastic. You know the year when nothing goes wrong and you are bestowed many blessings from beyond. Yeh right.

I must say 45 was fine for me, I would't mind skipping altogether 44. But for me a milestone happened at 45. I guess you would call it that. Like I became a Grandmother. Okay, no laughing, it's not as bad as I thought. And I must confess, I love it when I go into a store with my Grandson and they think I'm his mother. Puts everything in perspective for me just one more time.

Perspective is everything. It's how I see things. It's what I do with the things I see.

It's how I understand things. It's what do with the things I understand.

But perspective everyone has one. I have a perspective on being 46.
Change is coming!

Life is beginning!

Everything always comes full circle!

Nothing but chocolate will do!

If I always do what I always did.........

Change

Oh and by the way Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Can you smell it in the Air?
One of the best things about living in the Northeast is snow.
Most people don’t like snow. But I love it.
I love the quiet it brings.
I love how clean and white the snow is.
I love watch how each flake falls.
Mostly I love watching the children play in it.

No School! No School!
That is the favorite of my kids. The excitement of missing a day of school is almost as good as the snow storm itself.
So today we have no school. We have hot chocolate, plenty of pizza bagels and soup. We have cookies!!!
It’s party time!!!!!!

It Really, Really IS!

It Really, Really IS! What? Read On. It’s almost mid December, and our Christmas tree is up and decorated. Im busy writing Christmas cards and really enjoying it. This post in fact, started out to be my Christmas letter. But I canned it. So I have pulled out the Christmas Photographs, Christmas books, the Christmas music and the Christmas movies. And I am in the Christmas spirit. I must say I have at least 3 favorite movies. And one of those movies I can watch over and over again is; “It’s a wonderful life”. Oh how I love that movie.
As I watch the movie, I can relate to it in so many aspects. I am reminded in the midst of hard, life changing circumstances we really can't think to clearly sometimes. This is evidenced by the main Character in the movie George Bailey. George Bailey he had dreams and hopes and in his mind he had not fulfilled them. In many ways we are all like George Bailey in the sense that we have dreams and hopes. Without going into too much detail of the movie, on Christmas eve George Bailey, head of Bailey Savings and Loan is under a lot of financial pressures and attempts to end it all by jumping off a bridge. And that is the turning point of his life because he is saved by an angel named Clarence on assignment to get his wings. Then the fun begins.
George wishes that he had never been born and Clarence gives him that exact wish. Clarence’s journey through George’s life shifts George’s perspective from monetary problems to the positive effect he has had on others. And he really begins to relize that he has made a difference in peoples lives. Then George realizes that he does want to live and that he has a wonderful life, no matter the money difficulties. Racing home to his family, he finds friends there who have gathered the necessary funds for the deposit – thereby saving the bank. In the end, all turns out well. As George’s family and friends gather around him, a bell on the Christmas tree rings, signaling that Clarence earned his wings. You see because we really, really do have a wonderful life.
Many of us might feel a bit like George Bailey this year, financially strapped and not sure how we will make it through the tough times. This often leads to many desperate thoughts and it can affect our entire outlook on life. A reframing of our thoughts away from monetary and economic matters might help remind us as well that there is much good in life and much to be happy about, much to be thankful about. Mainly because it still is such a wonderful life.
What makes us happy? I really am a firm believer that only God can make us happy. Then if we are having that personal realationship with Jesus, out of that comes giving to others -- through our time, money and talent. I think this tends to make us happier rather than temporary gains.
George Bailey’s story unfolds in the small town of Bedford Falls. For those of us who live in large cities or like myself live in Norwalk a much smaller scaled city, it is up to us to help create and participate in communities and associations. These volunteer associations, about half of which are worship-related, provide a way for us to give to others as well as to create social networks that add meaning and context to our everyday lives.
This Christmas season, with so many people in need, try focusing on helping others out of the icy waters, and you might not notice that you are a bit cold yourself. And you know giving to others will lead to an increase in your happiness, increasing your ability work harder, be a better parent, have a better marriage and become a better citizens.
The truth is, I’ve done some cool things this year. I’ve accomplished some things I am proud of. I have people in my life I love. And I guess that’s the point of writing a Christmas Letter, just sharing some cool things. And as I write these letters year after year, I realize "It really, really is a wonderful life". There are just so many things that turned my life upside down and I know have impacted others lives too, and these things have made me giddy and joyful inside. Yes, I been in tough situations and circumstances, yes, I have had some of these this year and yes I will have them in the future. But all in all, I will continue to make a difference in the world I live in in the context of Jesus and really really, it is a wonderful life!

I’m a softie!

I have a confession to make and it’s big. I am a softie for the Salvation Army Bell Ringers at Christmas time. You know the ones that used to wear the Santa Costumes.

I have another confession. This is bigger. It’s very hard for me to walk by those bell ringers with out putting something into the hanging pot.

What is it about me that feels like I have to do this?
Don’t they know I was there Sunday, Monday and Tuesday? Don’t they care about the guilt they make me feel when I happen to walk by because I already just gave at Wal-Mart and now I’m at Stop & Shop. Can’t they hang out all in one place so I don’t have to be guilty everywhere I go.

The biggest confession I have is some of these Bell ringers look like they aren’t too trustworthy with the money. Its kind scary. At the same time, I’m truly not Salvation Army Bell ringer profiler. But the cynic in me makes me take double look.

Then I realize that I am having bad thoughts about the Bell ringers. I think about the cup of coffee they are drinking and I wonder if they used the money that people gave to buy that coffee and so I feel guilty and give.

Now I must confess that this is the part of the season that is pure torture for me. But the other reason I have a hard time passing them by is because it’s cold and I feel sorry for that they have to stand out in the cold. So I break down and put something in the bucket. And I do it again and again and again.
I am a softie

Out of the Comfort Zone

Looking Back

"Then Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came toward Jesus..."

As I look back, here I am 5 years ago standing by the wall of the Caribbean Sea in front of the pastors house in Belize City, Belize. Back then I was reminded of the story in scripture when Peter walks on the water. Although Peter's lack of faith forces him to sink and Jesus saves him, on a positive note, Peter needs to be commended for stepping out of the boat.

I remember being a little uneasy about coming here. I was afraid, much like the other disciples, to step out of the boat. I was disappointed in myself, that there were too many times in my life that I never "stepped out" and I nestled myself in my comfort zone, and missed out on God's calling. I certainly didn't want to leave my wonderfully air conditioned house to be in Belize. But that nudge and still, quiet voice kept calling me to "step out", and I did. I remember on that day by the wall, I had already seen God at work in my life and He was about to do so much more. In the midst of all these thoughts about going to Belize the day I arrived I sensed so much "brokenness" and poverty was everywhere. I was so eager to serve.

I found out that the vision of Belize City was to build a Church and a School in the burial grounds a place where the poorest of poor

live. When I got to the site this is what I saw. And we began to work on this empty piece of land. There were other aspects of this trip like visitingorphanages and holding orphans but this image will be forever imbeded in my head.

The progression here is not hard to see. And all the while, and over the years, I needed to be reminded of the initial feeling that I got here, that we live in a lost and broken world, outside my comfort zone. I remember praying to the Lord and asking Him "How long have I been numb to the darker side of reality?

So I stepped out into the unknown and I trusted God to keep me strong and hold me up. And when I start to sink because of my shortcomings and my selfishness, I know He will carry me the rest of the way and He did and still is.